Here, I want to explore further.
Recently... I have been taking actions in deliberate foregoing of an overcommitment to certain high benchmarks of achievement. Not because I do not believe that they are attainable, but only that the pursuit of their attainment can sometimes mire me in inaction.
Here is a concrete example:
I have recently developed a resource on hepatitis B for Chinese and Vietnamese communities, without going through the benchmark (one might suggest even "basic") standards for steps in health promotion resource creation. For example, I did not engage in a formalised process of community consultation, I did not go through months of a needs assessment, and I primarily sought intra-organisational feedback instead of through a working group taskforce.
On the one hand, this is a "fail" from a perspective which privileges Perfection.
On the other hand, here are some other considerations, which complicate the ease with which I might otherwise label this exercise in resource creation a failure:
1. We are resource tight
2. I am the only Asian project worker in the office (hence, at least in part, already "community-identified")
3. I am time-poor, because the year-long grant was only really given to me about 5 months in, and it is a project which promises many deliverables on comparatively little financial support.
4. I work in a sector which generally has high turnover of staff
More on context:
The tyranny of perfection has meant that there have been few resources on hepatitis B that have targeted Chinese and Vietnamese communities (indeed, we get zero ongoing funding to do ANY work on hepatitis B at all, even as we have committed to doing so as an organisation and must thus rely primarily on staff initiative and one-off, small grants), and the high turnover of staff in general in the sector means that few people stay long enough to build and maintain relationships with target communities, let alone create any appropriate resources on these issues.
I write all of this now in Defence of Imperfection.
I will not describe all of the ways that imperfect work is imperfect or bad or dangerous... This is all already implicit by definition.
I instead am interested in a Buddhist/Japanese working aesthetic of Wabi-sabi... Imperfection and incompletion which actually allows room and space for contemplation, rumination, or even enlightenment.
Obviously this is a lofty claim in the context of producing resources on viral hepatitis!
Or is it?
Elsewhere, I have written about the "Do Something Principle", suggesting that it is not only that we begin with inspiration, followed by motivation, followed by action, but also that action can itself be a beginning which then brings about inspiration (from self and others), motivation (for example, to correct the imperfect action), and then further action.
I am experimenting with a new principle of autopoiesis, or memetic, self-replication of particular types of outcomes:
Instead of miring myself in worrying about being seen as a failure,
I am instead going to fail early, fail fast and fail often...
As this linked article explains,
"...a story about a ceramics teacher who tried an experiment with his class[:]
The teacher divided the students into two groups. Those sitting on the left side of the studio were to be graded solely on the quantity of their work, while those on the right, solely on the quality. The instructor informed the students in the quantity group that a simple rule would be applied to evaluate their grades: those who produced fifty pounds of pots would get an A, those who produced forty pounds a B, and so on.
For the quality group, the instructor told the students that he would assign a course grade based on the single best piece produced over the duration of the course. So if a student created a first-rate pot on day one of the course and did nothing else for the term, he would still get an A.
When the end of the quarter arrived and it came to grading time, the instructor made an interesting discovery: the students who created the best work, as judged by technical and artistic sophistication, were the quantity group. While they were busy producing pot after pot, they were experimenting, becoming more adept at working with the clay, and learning from the mistakes on each progressive piece.
In contrast, the students in the quality group carefully planned out each pot and tried to produce refined, flawless work, and so they only worked on a few pieces over the length of the course. Because of their limited practice, they showed little improvement.
We like this story because it points out an important principle: successful people take action as quickly as possible, even though they may perform badly.
Instead of trying to avoid making mistakes and failing, they actively seek opportunities where they can face the limits of their skills and knowledge so that they can learn quickly. They understand that feeling afraid or underprepared is a sign of being in the space for optimal growth and is all the more reason to press ahead. In contrast, when unsuccessful people feel unprepared or afraid, they interpret it as a sign that it is time to stop, readdress their plans, question their motives, or spend more time preparing and planning."
I want to seek opportunities where I can face the limits of my skills and knowledge, limits that are partially determined by the circumstances I am in (as much as they are about my skills and knowledge per se), and then seek to improve upon my mistakes.
At the same time, I notice how I am sore to feedback that does not consider these circumstances... Still, is that really others' responsibility? Perhaps Yes, if these others are within my sector of employment. I far more value the feedback of community members whom I am targeting with my health promotion messages, rather than professional "experts" within a health promotion field that can paradoxically sometimes be overly self-serving, aiming for a "best practice discourse" over and above action inquiry.
All this said, I am also responsible for my own defensiveness... The field is a tough one, and stakes are high... I am dabbling in an area of life and death, without glamour and often gruelling and thankless.
In this area, I am an imperfect person working in an imperfect system, and thus engaging in imperfect action and imperfect production. What I hope to achieve is reproduction of a particular type of imperfection: One that is founded on the willingness to learn, and having the courage to act when others or I previously have been too mired by the will-to-Perfection to achieve anything much at all.
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