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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Little Death

The French rendering of the orgasm as 'les petite mort,' or the 'little death.'

Within a discourse of heterosexual reproduction as the normative vision of Life's pursuit of immortality... "I" begets "I" in genetic replication, through heterosexual union, pregnancy, enjoining of seed and egg, sperm and ovum, strands of DNA mixing only superficially from two parents... more expansively, each zygote inherits the entire history of its genetic ancestry from infinite number of parents of parents of parents stringing all the way back, all of which involved the jizz of so many little male ejaculatory deaths.

Perhaps then, this reproductive, orgasmic rendering of sexuality is both heteronormative and somewhat counterintuitive to true immortality or longevity. Each satiation post-orgasm is not truly satisfactory. Some of us become more needy for affection, some of us simply roll over and snore. The affliction here is the sudden death of motivation; Here the pleasure principle meets the death drive and the cycle becomes addictive. Addiction to pleasure, or addiction to a subtle masochism of many little deaths with a myriad of partners (or images), while each way along the way, immortality (or the permanence of the reified Self) remains elusive......


Immortality

I believe that this primordial drive for immortality (in part symbolised by the fetishism of fertility in Goddess cults, or in fundamentalist obsessions with the heteronormative centrality of reproduction in the sexual encounter) is made possible only because we intuit the plausibility of immortality in our experience of living.

Who has not experienced the tantalising, timeless eternity of erotic tension, the 'enlivening' (and hence, 'longevitising') rush of passion, inspiration and poetry from the lavish promise of union? Most of us too, have tasted the joys of youth, with its lush fields of seemingly limitless libidinal drive and infinite possibility, the 'forever'-ness of many days and nights, pregnant with potential...

It is for these and many more reasons that immortality is conceptually possible. Even if it is only ever lived vicariously through our children, our children's children, or the memory of our own youth... These are reminders of the 'forever-ness' of one's self through Legacy and Melancholy...


Libidinal Alchemy

But what if... There was the possibility to experiment with a different vision of immortality...? One that is neither contingent on romanticising the past (with more libidinal drive) nor clinging to hope for better futures (where we may nurture our progeny as products of our drive)? Instead, what if there was the opportunity to simply work, alchemically, with the drive itself?

Instead of assuming that the only logical outcome of the libido is its culmination in a little death, I want instead to experiment with Daoist theories of circulation, recharge, share and exchange... Rather than the end goal of orgasm as an outcome of the libidinal drive, I instead relish the beauty of my partner(s) indefinitely, without goal, simply to cherish the pleasure of their Being without grasping onto the simulacral reality of pornographic "fucking" and "seeding"... A greater goal awaits... A Mission, a Purpose;- One to Beauty itself, one to Divinity it/her/him/themself(ves), made manifest in the world through so many beautiful people, the interplay of order and chaos...

I do not intend for Catholic repression of sex, but I do not wish either for the false liberation of sexual excess... I intend for a Buddhist middle, a post-modernist, post-colonial, Madhyamikan transmogrification of libido into more careful consumption, where one focuses on subtlety of taste, the company of friends, and the fresh virtue of cuisine, rather than the utilitarian, capitalist obsession with nutritional content, speed, novelty, and planned obsolescence.